A father is getting ready for a journey overseas and says to his three daughters:
Father: What should I bring you, my daughters?
Eldest: Bring me some silk from overseas, Father.
Middle: And for me, some jewelry made of precious stones.
Youngest: And for me, Father, bring an ugly foreign monster for the pleasures of sexuality and various perversions.
Father: My dear! It’s not proper for a young girl to speak like that. Choose another gift!
Youngest: Hmm, alright, let’s take the long way. Father, bring me a SCARLET FLOWER.
Commentary
This joke plays on a well‑known Russian fairy tale called “The Scarlet Flower,” which is essentially the Russian version of “Beauty and the Beast.” In the original story, a merchant asks his three daughters what gifts they want from his travels, and the youngest requests a magical scarlet flower—which leads her into the main fairy‑tale plot.
The humor comes from sharply breaking this familiar, innocent setup with an unexpectedly inappropriate request from the youngest daughter. After the father scolds her, she switches back to the traditional fairy‑tale answer—the Scarlet Flower—but now the audience hears it with a wink.
There’s also a cultural layer: in the Soviet era, public discussion of sexuality was considered improper, leading to the famous phrase “There is no sex in the USSR.” So the joke plays on the contrast between a wholesome Soviet‑era fairy‑tale atmosphere and a topic that would have been completely taboo in that culture.
Russian Original
Собирается батюшка в путешествие заморское и говорит своим трем дочерям:
Батюшка: Что привести Вам, дочери мои?
Старшая: Привези мне, батюшка, шелка заморские.
Средняя: а мне украшения из каменьев драгоценных
Младшая: а мне, батюшка, привези чудище заморское уродливое, для утех
сексуальных и извращений разнообразных.
Батюшка: Младшая дочь! Не пристало так говорить девушке юной, выбирай другой подарок!
Младшая: хм, ладно, пойдем по длинному пути, привези мне, батюшка ЦВЕТОЧЕК АЛЕНЬКАЙ
Transliteration
Sobirayetsya batyushka v puteshestviye zamorskoye i govorit svoim trem docheryam:
Batyushka: chto privesti Vam docheri moi?
Starshaya: privezi mne batyushka shelka zamorskiye
Srednyaya: a mne ukrasheniya iz kamen’yev dragotsennykh
Mladshaya: a mne, batyushka, privezi chudishche zamorskoye urodlivoye, dlya utekh seksual’nykh i izvrashcheniy raznoobraznykh
Batyushka: mladshaya doch’! Ne pristalo tak govorit’ devushke yunoy, vybiray drugoy podarok!
Mladshaya: khm, ladno, poydem po dlinnomu puti, privezi mne batyushka TSVETOCHEK ALEN’KAY