A rifle had been hanging on the Ivanovs’ wall for the better part of ten years.It finally discharged yesterday.Thankfully, no one was injured—the mother-in-law escaped with merely three taps from the buttstock.
Rifle Finally Fires After a Decade on the Wall Read More »
A father is getting ready for a journey overseas and says to his three daughters: Father: What should I bring you, my daughters? Eldest: Bring me some silk from overseas, Father. Middle: And for me, some jewelry made of precious stones. Youngest: And for me, Father, bring an ugly foreign monster for the pleasures of
Beauty and the Scarlet Flower Read More »
In a smoky Liverpool tavern of the 17th century, a one‑eyed, one‑legged, one‑handed old sea wolf sits surrounded by young sailors, all drinking rum.— Old man, how did you lose your leg?— Ah, lads… that was near Cuba. We were taking a Spanish galleon stuffed to the brim with gold. I jumped aboard for the
The Old Sea Wolf and the Seagull Read More »
Little Vova:— Miss Ivanova, when I grow up and become president, you’ll be ashamed that you gave me bad grades. Teacher:— Putin, stop fooling around!
Little Vova Putin in the Classroom Read More »
The kindergarten teacher is walking the children through the park.On the grass, a hedgehog is crawling. Teacher:— Children, who is this? The children don’t know. Teacher:— Come on, children, remember — about whom are there so many songs, poems, and fairy tales? Little Vova walks up to the hedgehog and whispers in awe:— So this
Little Vova Meets Grandpa Lenin Read More »
Little Vova comes to school and tells his teacher: — Miss Ivanova! I won’t be studying here anymore—I’m moving to America! Teacher: — What do you mean, Vova? Why? Little Vova: — I got a letter. My grandfather in America went blind. He owns a ranch, two factories, fifteen shops… It’s hard for him to
Little Vova: The Letter from America Read More »
1970s. A U.S. delegation visits a Soviet kindergarten. The headmistress proudly says:— Our children are the happiest in the world. They eat the best food, play with the best toys, wear the finest clothes, and have the best teachers. Suddenly, Little Vova bursts into tears. A delegate asks:— Son, why are you crying? Little Vova:—
The Happiest Children in the World Read More »
A man came to the clinic and asked to make an appointment with an “Ear‑Throat‑Eye” doctor. The receptionist, surprised by such a request, gave him a ticket to the psychiatrist, since the man was clearly not in his right mind. After waiting in line, he finally entered the doctor’s office and immediately asked, “Are you
The Doctor of Ear-Throat-Eye Read More »
In the Soviet army, duties are strictly distributed. Everyone up to senior lieutenant must be able to work independently. A captain must be able to organize work. A major must know where things are happening. A lieutenant colonel must be able to report where things are happening. A colonel must be able to find the
Chain of Command, Soviet Style Read More »