1970s. A U.S. delegation visits a Soviet kindergarten. The headmistress proudly says:
— Our children are the happiest in the world. They eat the best food, play with the best toys, wear the finest clothes, and have the best teachers.
Suddenly, Little Vova bursts into tears.
A delegate asks:
— Son, why are you crying?
Little Vova:
— Because I want to live in the Soviet Union!
Commentary:
This joke plays on the contrast between official Soviet propaganda and everyday reality. In the 1970s, visiting delegations were often shown carefully staged “model” institutions, where everything was presented as the “best in the world.” The humor comes from the child’s innocent response: he’s already in the Soviet Union, but the description sounds so idealized that he wishes he could live in that imaginary version instead.
It’s a classic example of satire under censorship: Soviet citizens couldn’t openly criticize the system, so jokes became a safe way to highlight the gap between rhetoric and reality. For Western audiences, the punchline lands because it exposes the absurdity of propaganda while keeping the child’s voice simple and relatable.
Russian Original
70-е годы. Делегация из США приехала в СССР, заходят в детский сад. Заведующая им говорит:
— В Советском союзе самые счастливые в мире дети. Их кормят самой вкусной в мире едой. Они играют в лучшие в мире игрушки. Они одеты в лучшую в мире одежду. У них лучшие в мире воспитательницы.
Один мальчик заплакал. Один из делегатов его спрашивает:
— Мальчик, ты чего плачешь?
— Хочу в Советский союз!
Transliteration
70-e gody. Delegatsiya iz SShA priekhala v SSSR, zakhodyat v detskiy sad. Zaveduyushchaya im govorit:
— V Sovetskom soyuze samye schastlivye v mire deti. Ikh kormyat samoy vkusnoy v mire edoy. Oni igrayut v luchshie v mire igrushki. Oni odety v luchshuyu v mire odezhdu. U nikh luchshie v mire vospitatelnitsy.
Odin malchik zaplakal. Odin iz delegatov ego sprashivaet:
— Malchik, ty chego plachesh?
— Khochu v Sovetskiy soyuz!